Day Two

Well I got through the day okay. I didn't realize all of the psychological obstacles I would face. I did the candida diet years ago and found it restrictive but helpful. For years I was on a modified LC diet (good carbs, no sugar) and then went gluten-free last June. Yesterday, I found myself reluctant to give up all of the good carbs I have added back in. The biggest barrier is psychological I know. Got to stop thinking about the skinny people who can have a candy bar once in a while. I can't Also have to throw away my probiotics cause they have FOS, which is a carb used to feed the good bacteria. Seems it feeds the bad bacteria as well. 

Overall I feel good. Cyndy and I did the gym as usual and my legs feel good today. Instead of swimming, we did the weight room because Cyndy's back is killing her for some reason. Noticed that with the gym five days a week, I can climb stairs with ease and my balance is really good--something that I lose with just three days a week at the gym. Paid the $800+ for the annual membership today. Deeply discounted rate but still hurts. Worth it though in terms of our health.  The guy next to me at the gym said it well. He said, "For other people food is about taste. For me at is about nourishing myself." He is really into Dr. Oz, as am I. His statement really sums it up. I want food to be about sharing and community and taste and it's hard to give that up completely if only for a couple of years. I hate fanaticism but in this case, being a fanatic about something pays off. I always thought that God rewarded moderation and the the middle was always best. In this case, the war is on the invaders in my body and it's total obliteration or nothing at all.

Also, started taking the meds for SBIO (Small Bowel Intestinal Overgrowth). This is the problem I have had since I went to Greece and drank bad water (1983). This diet and the meds are supposed to take care of any residual problems I might have with IBS-D. Funny how the parasite can go away but the after-effects last a lifetime. My sister Michelle has this same problem so maybe eventually I would have had it without the trip to Greece. Who knows!
The other thing I had to deal with yesterday is the hunger. I really don't know where the calories will come from with no brown rice or potato. Last night I came home from the show and made myself some chicken with grapeseed oil and garlic for flavor because I was starved. Shared some of it with Shawnee and she threw up because she was eating it too fast. During the day it was hard-boiled eggs, bananas, and almonds most of the day. I did buy some fresh veggies and fruits. I imagine some of the calories will have to come from fruit. Got to look into a recipe book and cooking on the weekends.
After I got back from the gym, Wes wanted a sausage biscuit from Jack in the Box. Took him through the drive-through. Ordinarily I would have had a hashbrowns and a diet coke. This time had neither because both are banned.

The rest of the day was just routine. Felt good all day though. Day one down, 364 left to go.

Day One on the SCD Diet

Okay so this is Day One and I'm barely ready for it but am going for it anyway. I'm going to erase the word "can't" from my vocabulary and am going after what I want. I've always had what one would call a relentless personality. I was born over two months early so I had to be relentless in order to survive and to be even more so to get through childhood.

Usually I go relentlessly in search of truth which does not always make me the most popular. Sure didn't when I was growing up in the funhouse--funhouse because everything was distorted and upside down and no one was allowed to call bullshit or else there was hell to pay. Anyway, this time what I am going after is health. The author of the SCD Diet if you want to call it says that it takes two years to return to normal but I've decided to take it one year at a time.

So in addition to being relentless, I've also got to still the voices that tell me to feel sorry for my self. Other people get cancer. Other people have to deal with digestive issues. Or they are stuck with batshit crazy personalities and to tell you the truth, I'd rather be on limited time with a good head on my shoulders than have a lifetime of being a sorry SOB. I'm lucky, I've got my brain and a heart, a son who makes me proud because he is a fantastic human being, a love bug of a dog, and good friends who I love. The other thing I need to do is to keep my eye on the prize. I've always been disciplined but for this I need to call in my German side and take no prisoners. Look in the mirror and say, "What do you want" every day of the week for one year. All I know is that I feel good today and that's enough. I always thought that to be too disciplined was to become an automatron but now I think that being an automatron means sitting in front of the TV watching reality TV while life is passing right on by.

The other thing I need to do is to stop wanting to please people already. I want people to like me but if they don't well that's their problem. How many times in my life have I wanted to please someone who turned out to be not worth it? I've washed my hands of people who were bringing me down and I'm just not going to be soft anymore. Loving but empathic and tough, that's what I want to be. Like I said, gotta be able to call bullshit. That's why I stopped dating and I won't start again until I'm sure that my picker is working correctly.

Anyway, I will need some help this this so I am enlisting the help of a nutritionist who should understand my "plight." Her name is Holly Kutchner and she lives in Berkeley so I won't see her much. My doctor at Kaiser also knows the score and she has been an invaluable support. Most of all love and support is coming from my friend Cyndy Hodes, the woman who has been getting me to the gym four days a week on average for the past 2-1/2 years. We've upped it to five (from three) and we are both already seeing the difference. Cyndy is an example of someone with discipline and heart and is truly my inspiration.

So I will close for now. Day One done.