Day One on the SCD Diet

Okay so this is Day One and I'm barely ready for it but am going for it anyway. I'm going to erase the word "can't" from my vocabulary and am going after what I want. I've always had what one would call a relentless personality. I was born over two months early so I had to be relentless in order to survive and to be even more so to get through childhood.

Usually I go relentlessly in search of truth which does not always make me the most popular. Sure didn't when I was growing up in the funhouse--funhouse because everything was distorted and upside down and no one was allowed to call bullshit or else there was hell to pay. Anyway, this time what I am going after is health. The author of the SCD Diet if you want to call it says that it takes two years to return to normal but I've decided to take it one year at a time.

So in addition to being relentless, I've also got to still the voices that tell me to feel sorry for my self. Other people get cancer. Other people have to deal with digestive issues. Or they are stuck with batshit crazy personalities and to tell you the truth, I'd rather be on limited time with a good head on my shoulders than have a lifetime of being a sorry SOB. I'm lucky, I've got my brain and a heart, a son who makes me proud because he is a fantastic human being, a love bug of a dog, and good friends who I love. The other thing I need to do is to keep my eye on the prize. I've always been disciplined but for this I need to call in my German side and take no prisoners. Look in the mirror and say, "What do you want" every day of the week for one year. All I know is that I feel good today and that's enough. I always thought that to be too disciplined was to become an automatron but now I think that being an automatron means sitting in front of the TV watching reality TV while life is passing right on by.

The other thing I need to do is to stop wanting to please people already. I want people to like me but if they don't well that's their problem. How many times in my life have I wanted to please someone who turned out to be not worth it? I've washed my hands of people who were bringing me down and I'm just not going to be soft anymore. Loving but empathic and tough, that's what I want to be. Like I said, gotta be able to call bullshit. That's why I stopped dating and I won't start again until I'm sure that my picker is working correctly.

Anyway, I will need some help this this so I am enlisting the help of a nutritionist who should understand my "plight." Her name is Holly Kutchner and she lives in Berkeley so I won't see her much. My doctor at Kaiser also knows the score and she has been an invaluable support. Most of all love and support is coming from my friend Cyndy Hodes, the woman who has been getting me to the gym four days a week on average for the past 2-1/2 years. We've upped it to five (from three) and we are both already seeing the difference. Cyndy is an example of someone with discipline and heart and is truly my inspiration.

So I will close for now. Day One done.