Day 168

Just a post to let you all know I haven't dropped off the FOTE.  Things are going along smoothly. I've eliminated two of the four SCD horsemen and digestion is much improved! Tonight I had chicken soup along with fish and salad. Earlier I had banana pudding--last time I will have that for a while. BTW, it would have been my mom's 71st birthday. I don't miss her and want to say to her fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Good thing this is a private blog only I can read. My mom would have been reaping the rewards of a life lived very poorly and I imagine the chickens would have come home a roosting several times over. She would not have known how to live any other way.

Digestion not so good Day 121

That my digestion has been a little rocky the last week and the weight has not been coming off as fast as I would like is disheartening but I will not let it get me down. Last night I threw up a little from eating too much. When I think about what I used to eat with no problem, it makes me cringe. I am waiting to get some answers from the doctor tomorrow. Time will tell.  So for now, I am chugging along. Trip to the gym "now" will help! Going for six days this week.

What hunger will do. Day 116

It is funny how lack of planning and hunger can ruin one's resolve. I have to get back to making those awesome lunches. This week, I really felt anti-paleo and even lost sight of my goals. I've been slipping day by day. Need to get back into the mindset. Maybe listening to podcasts will help again. Chris Kresser was turning me off with his judgmental attitude. I hope his business does well. Was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow. Almost glad it did not work out!

Remembering: Day 107

Every time I think of quitting, I need to remember the numbers. Numbers going down, numbers that are still high. Also remember above all, the energy. I did not have this kind of energy before and the secret is the grains and the sugar. I am strong, optimistic, and my self-esteem is higher than it has been in years. Everything seems balanced.  I will speak to the doctor tomorrow about another test but I am not sure that I want it. Glucophage just might be the answer. I am really surprised at the result but genetics are a bitch. I have not had table sugar since 1986 and no bread since June. For nine years I was faithful to an anti-candida diet. Yet something went horribly wrong. Rather than feeling sorry, feel happy to be alive and energetic. Yes, I hate all the dishes--three loads this weekend. However, they are a fact of life and the simple fact that I can do them is a victory.

Goodnight for now.

Debbie

Day 100 or so...,

I like going back and reading what I have written so far. Better that than reflect on how lazy I have become with this blog. I have been thinking a lot about excellence and how it's something you have to do every day of your life. Excellence is something I want to strive for with relentless passion without wanting to burn out of course. I was getting burnt on the podcasts--all of them saying the same thing. But the truth is, I want to stay in the society of people who are accomplishing my goals--that is how things get done by reaching for the stars and not for the ground. I'm not sure that's there's scientific data on cold thermogenics and leptin resent but that's what I heard on a podcast the other day! I am excited about meeting Chris and coming up with a solution. However, don't want to spend a fortune--although I do not think it will be wasted. I would like some control on tailoring my own plan!
I almost cheated on Friday but thought better of it. Pineapple coconut yogurt is my new passion and making a combination of goat's milk and coconut yogurt is my ticket for progress. Tomorrow I will have fish and chicken soup before coming up with a food plan for the rest of the week. Life is good and I keep on keeping on!

Had to post today

I did not want Day 90 to go by unnoticed. It seems each day I pick up steam. I can do one year. I just know it. It has not been the progress I was expecting but I did have a perfect poop today. Once every two days and perfect. I handled the coconut yogurt okay and plan to make more perhaps with just a little bit of milk in it to get used to the milk. SCD yogurt milk--coconut. We will see. Progress just a little bit at a time!

So today is Day 76

Today is rough. I realized that I am getting tired of the same old same old and didn't eat my unappetizing lunch and instead got fruit. Too much fructose and then diarrhea. Then last nights fruit cookies were good but those need to be frozen. Tomorrow will be another day. At least I didn't feed any beasts--just didn't help with the healing. IDK.

Crockpot shopping!

Day 71

So it has been a great day. I cooked up a storm for most of the day and tomorrow there will be laundry. But this week brings a delight of food, so unlike last week. I am really looking forward to it--the coconut yogurt, the butternut squash soup! There are rewards for being a gourmand, even if it is an SCD gourmand. I am learning how to cook a variety of things and I get to take my son on this adventure. And to think I was so discouraged yesterday. Just had to take a step back and regroup and that is what I did!

Day 58

I can't believe it. Fifty-eight days. I have learned what I have always known, I'm very good at dieting but the devil is in the details because I want to eat the little things and then nothing happens. I have to heal the leaky gut before I can think of other things. I would rather be strict to death about healing the gut than do something like a fecal transplant, which I actually tried to do but was so grossed out I couldn't deal with it. This is a good way of living and eating and I will stick to it. Now today I am going to make some muffins and see how they turn out. It's a really good way to use apple-pear sauce without going all hog-wild with it and getting too much fructose. I hope against hope that Elaine is right and that I will be able to heal. I give up on the idea that I will be able to eat like anyone else because I see how that is working out for a lot of people--NOT. I would like to eat like I did last year with no problems so we will see. Lots of fruits, veggies and meats. No diet coke or other crap.
My eyes are a little swollen so it isn't the goat's milk yogurt; it's something else. My digestion is great though so no yogurt this week.

As for research, my next task will be to look up the probiotic content in a cup of goat's milk yogurt and do the comparisons. War on warrior! You can and will do it. One-sixth of the way there almost.

This is Day 56

It was a close one. A friend wanted an impromtu visit to a restaurant to get hors d'oevres and I almost caved. I really should be stronger. What would I have eaten I wonder? Next time just a drink and no food. Aline would not understand. Getting bored of salmon and I really need to have some other kinds of meats around. This I will do next week.

Day 52

Got through my date in one piece. This diet is easy to do without the nutritionist once the momentum gets going. I am a lot stronger than I think I am. Jordan and Steve from SCD Lifestyle are great support though.

My date was okay. It seems we don't have much in common. He doesn't believe dogs should be in the house and I do which I guess is a dealbreaker because I'm not going to change and neither is he. It felt nice being kissed again but I realized that I really don't need it, just that it would be nice with the right person!

Diet's been weird. All that time in the kitchen for a burnt short rib for dinner, half a crockpot full of broth, and runny goat yogurt. I've been a diva cooking-wise lately but the experiments have gone wrong or just too time consuming. Got to clean the kitchen and get back on the horse ASAP.

Today is day 50--a milestone

Today is a milestone. Kinda upset I didn't lose anything in a week according to my pants but I can fix that and I will. I have the almond meal and honey put away for another day! Feels good getting support from my doctor and from Facebook friends. Didn't know just how large of a community it was! Going out tonight--no cheats.

It's actually the 49th day

I was reading my previous blog posts and it has become clear to me how determined I was from the start. I am just chugging along these days--waiting. I'm going to run out of my muffins today and I won't make more next week. I don't need yogurt every day next week either. I'm going to regroup and see what happens with my gut. Evaluate my poops as Steve and Jordan say...

13.4 percent done for the year...although I will go one year from when symptoms stop! Still have symptoms...

Today Day 47

I can't believe I have 47 days on this diet! That is well over 10 percent. When I run out of the yogurt and provisions, I am going to start over again with Phase 1. I think that will hold me in good stead. I do not have a lot of gas though and I do think healing is going on. I am wondering about the dairy.

Have been listening/reading Jordan and Steve. I am not an engineer so don't have that personality. However, I do have staying power. That is one thing I do have and I will stay with this. My new life is worth it. Otherwise it is not a life. Not to be too ADD but it reminds me of a TV show I saw recently about a 600 pound woman and her life was miserable. She was manipulative and babyish and that is the opposite of me (I hope). No sense being weak in this world. It will gobble you up:)

Day 45

This means 1-1/2 months exactly. I don't feel momentum slipping, just wish that last week I didn't eat the dried fruit. I know if I went completely low carb I would lose weight faster but now that I am back on desipramine, life is good. It is nice to know that the doctor is supporting me. Might be going on a date soon so the challenge will be to stay with it and not deviate. No man or promise of a man is going to trip me up. Not accepting or over questioning my diet is a deal-breaker. If I end up alone, so be it. My health is the most important thing!

Hit a wall

This post should have been titled, "No more honey!" A little bit of a grieving process here. Maybe should try sugar-free ways to make muffins...

Sad, but really in the scheme of things, other people have things way sadder. Maybe I can have honey later in life.

Day 37

So today is Day 37. Wow, what an accomplishment! I'm a little nervous about the changes I made yesterday and I believe that time will tell whether I can have pineapple or apple cider vinegar. Time will tell. Very busy with cooking, very busy but will cut all of that if it turns out I can't eat it. Off to make some fish and go to the store for dry mustard and nutmeg and currents.

So it's been a few days

And I've been really good. Today is Day 33. 335 days left to go. If I do the math, I'm over 1/12 of the way there. I always can count on getting atta girls from Judy and I sure did. I told her I was down a dress size and she said it looks like I've lost 15 pounds. I think a lot of it is fluid because my immune system is letting go of some of its protection. I also had my first really good bm in ages yesterday. It was after I started the stomach acid. It was a type 3 or 4 and really long. I felt like I got rid of five pounds right there and it gave me the courage to try on the green pants and guess what?  They fit! By next week I will try the tan ones because these have stretch and I'm not sure about the other ones. But this is progress! It really is...it gives me hope because I not only can do it, I am doing it and just for myself and not for anyone else. Wow, this is the last time I will be a prisoner of anything--addictive food or a woe that does not work for me. I feel really strong. I would like to become more confident in everything I do. I'm going a mile a minute and the only thing I'm getting tired of doing is cooking and shopping because that has been my life. As soon as Wes gets his license, things will be easier because he can shop for me once a week. Can't wait---freedom beckons!

Sorry I've been bad

I've been remiss in my accountability. However, I'm chugging along. Persistence has been the theme of the hour these days. A lot of the things I have accomplished in my life have been due to sheer persistence and this diet is no exception. Funny how food and diet can affect your thinking. I'm not letting that happen any more. Each day will be beautiful because I'm going to make it that way. I've been making it day by day because of these challenges!

Day 25

So I am really feeling the benefits. I went to the store yesterday and did not automatically take a cart with me. Usually I take a cart for balance because I am so tired. This diet is working! I am down half of a dress size maybe more and by next week I can be in the size 12 pants. I have two pair so that's better than what I have now. It was a little bit of a struggle avoiding pastry (Scott offered me some), foods offered by Siloo, and also potato. Not so much a struggle but a preview of what it will be like to say No when I'm hungry or when the days go on and on. But I can do it. I found a great saying today by Allen Cohen:
  

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."